Being a single mom is tough. The weight of raising a child (or children) on your own while managing your emotions, finances, and future can feel overwhelming. But it’s even more challenging when you’re thinking about leaving a toxic relationship and fear keeps you stuck. I know this feeling all too well because I lived it.
For a long time, I felt trapped in a relationship that drained my spirit. The thought of leaving seemed impossible—what if I couldn’t survive on my own? What if it made things even worse for the kids? That fear whispered constantly, telling me I wasn’t strong enough, smart enough, or capable enough to make it. But over time, I learned to quiet that voice and replace it with something stronger—belief in myself. Here’s how I went from barely surviving to living my greatest life. *Let me preface by saying it didn’t happen overnight but from the moment I made up my mind and committed to a change , i handled the challenges with confidence because I knew the end goal was going to be amazing.
The Fear of Survival
When I first thought about leaving a 15 year relationship, the fear hit me hard. It wasn’t just about the practical aspects like finances or where I’d live—although that was part of it. It was the emotional burden of knowing everything would rest on my shoulders. If I failed, I wasn’t just failing myself; I was failing my children.
I constantly questioned myself: Will I be able to pay the bills? Will I be able to give my kids what they need? Can I keep going when things get tough? These thoughts kept me stuck in a bad situation, paralyzed by the fear of the unknown.
If you’re in a relationship that you want out of but fear is holding you back from making a change, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. It feels easier to stay because it’s familiar, but deep down, you know you deserve more. That’s where I was—stuck in survival mode. But one day after meeting a very inspirational speaker at a conference, I made a decision that changed everything. I didn’t want to just survive anymore; I wanted to thrive, for myself and for my children.
Facing the Fear
The first step in overcoming fear is recognizing it for what it is: a liar. Fear tells you that you can’t, that you won’t, and that you aren’t good enough. But none of that is true.
When I finally decided to leave, I started small. I set manageable goals that weren’t about changing my whole life overnight but about proving to myself that I could handle the challenges ahead. I made a budget and stuck to it, even when it was tough. I built a support system of friends and family who reminded me of my strength when I couldn’t see it myself.
Most importantly, I shifted my mindset. Instead of thinking, What if I fail? I started asking, What will it be like when I succeed? That simple change gave me the courage to take action, even when the fear was still there.
Building Strength
As I took control of my life, I discovered a strength I didn’t know I had. With each step, I grew more confident in my ability to handle whatever came my way. Whether it was repairing my credit, managing my finances or navigating the world of solo-parenting, I proved to myself that I was capable of more than I had ever imagined.
I also made time for self-care, which was crucial during this transition. As moms, we often put ourselves last, but I learned that in order to be the best version of myself for my kids, I needed to take care of my own physical and emotional well-being. I exercised, focused on nutrition, spent time with friends and practiced mindfulness to keep my mind in a positive space.
Thriving, Not Just Surviving
Once I started seeing progress, my whole perspective on life changed. I wasn’t just surviving anymore; I was thriving. I began setting bigger goals—goals that once seemed impossible. I paid off debt, built my dream home in my dream neighborhood, and even started my own business. I proved to myself that not only could I survive on my own, but I could create a life beyond what I had ever dreamed of.
The most rewarding part wasn’t just the financial stability or the sense of accomplishment. It was showing my children—and myself—that I was capable of facing my fears and creating a life filled with joy, strength, and purpose.
The Power of Belief
If you’re a single mom or if you’re thinking about leaving a toxic relationship but fear is keeping you stuck, I want you to hear this: You can do this. You have more strength than you realize, and your fear is lying to you. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t let that fear keep you from stepping into the life you deserve.
Take it one step at a time. Start small, and let each victory build your confidence. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Most importantly, believe in yourself, even when it feels impossible.
From Fear to Freedom
My journey from fear to freedom wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I’m now living a life that I once only dreamed about, and I know that if I can do it, so can you. I didn’t have a magic wand, no large inheritance fell in my lap, I wasn’t in the right place at the right time, no special education, nada — It all simply started with a decision to face my fear and take that first step. Then set goals and worked consistently to achieve them!
You are stronger than your fears, braver than you know, and more capable than you ever imagined. Whether you’re already a single mom or you’re thinking about leaving a relationship, know that you can thrive. You can live a life filled with purpose, joy, and freedom.
Ready to take that first step?
Download my free guide, “Rise and Shine.”
